Friday, December 21, 2012

3/4

Sometimes I have random thoughts or make observations and suddenly I can picture a blog post based on that thought or idea. This has been happening to me pretty frequently, but I still haven't been able to click the "New Post" button in quite some time. About three months.

A lot of things have been on my mind but I just haven't been able to find the words. Even now, as I write this post which isn't really saying much of anything yet, I struggle to find the words, as I type, delete, and retype.

I kept up with this blog for three quarters of the year. In the beginning, it was fresh and I had a lot to say. I finished up my junior year, and summer brought a whole mess of adventures. I traveled to Quito, fell in love with thirty little babies, and saw the beautiful mountains that I've dreamt about for a long time. I went on an amazing vacation with my family and finished the summer at camp in Esopus. I wrote and wrote and wrote. This blog helped me make a carbon copy of the summer, something I could look back on and attempt to relive that time, even though that's not exactly possible. School started back up and a month in, I fell off the wagon. I'm realizing now that I didn't run out of things to say, it just became very difficult to sort through the many ideas I've been having the last few months.

So here's what I've wanted to say for the last few months.

Everything is relative. I've been dismissing the definitive ideas of good and bad, right and wrong, successful and unsuccessful, etc. I've especially been considering these ideas as they relate to people. This type of thinking feels productive and helpful for my work in music therapy.

I love Christmas. It's my favorite time of year. I'm always secretly scared of that time after the holidays. It never feels good.

This semester I had the opportunity to do my fieldwork in a songwriting program with kids in Philadelphia. I learned a lot about kids, songwriting, and myself. It was quite rewarding.

I begin my full-time music therapy internship in January, the last piece of my degree. I graduate in May. I hope to be done with my internship by July, move back to New York, and begin my master's degree in the fall.

Violence, needless loss, and heartache have filled the hearts of our nation and world as of late. I hope we can keep overpowering the hatred with love. I hope we can rebuild. I hope as we rebuild, we try something new. I hope we recognize the important role that mental healthcare plays in our society.

I keep having the thought that some of the worst possible situations have been happening close to home, but this is being paralleled with some of the best, most human moments I have witnessed in my life. Don't lose hope. There's still love all around.

It felt good to document this year. This blog has certainly become something that I'm excited to read this New Year's Eve...and we'll see about next year.